Reverb 11, December Twenty-Ninth

What makes you squirm, looking back at 2011? Write about a moment in which you were uncomfortable, out of your comfort zone, or caught off-guard. Why was it so awkward?

Here's the thing - each of the moments I'm thinking of involve other people, and writing in any detail about those moments seems inappropriate.

These conversations required me to be more mature than I'm used to.  During one conversation, I was quite firmly the adult.  I can do this professionally without batting an eyelash, but for some reason bringing that forthright maturity and authority into my personal life has been difficult in some ways.  The specific form of maturity to which I refer involves speaking the hard truths to people who don't want to hear them, and running the risk of their disapproval (or worse).  I'm learning to speak them to myself; I should show my loved ones the same courtesy.

There's a difference, you know, between rigorous honesty and brutal honesty.  Rigorous honesty means being honest, even when it hurts me, or makes me uncomfortable.  Brutal honesty means being honest, even when it hurts or makes uncomfortable the person with whom I'm being honest.  My comfort zone is breached when I'm not sure which is which - an extreme rarity for me.

Worse is when I know what I'm saying will fall upon deaf ears, or meet with worse than disapproval, and my concept of what it means to love requires me to open my fool mouth anyway.