Reverb 11, December Thirtieth

What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today. 

It's time to move out.  It's actually past time to move out.  I've had some setbacks over the past few years, but as soon as I got this job and got back into school I knew my time was coming.  As often as I'm gone, as expensive as rent in Los Angeles can get, I'm making it my business to be out of this house by this time next year.  Aside from my twin needs of space and privacy, I need space and privacy.  The physical and the psychological.


When I get it?  Free, happy, and blissful are but the beginning.  My self-perception will alter.  In ways it shouldn't, perhaps; I suspect I'll feel things about myself I should be feeling already.  In fact, I know that - my therapist keeps telling me so.

I'm already trying to generate that feeling internally.  Nothing seems to work - there's only so much I can change about the way I see myself and my place in the world...without actually changing myself and my place in the world.

I've started looking at my job as a part of my career.  I take pride in my work.  I'm trying to take more pride in my studies. I could think of six other things, but the sense of bliss, freedom, and happiness I'm looking for will absolutely come well in advance of the keys to my own place if only I can develop greater patience.  That will help me take more pride in all of my work, in my place in the world.

That's fighting a psychological habit of years.  Impatience is sort of a hallmark of mine.