Day 39

It is a period of geek persecution.  Dash Stryker, hiding his filmic preferences in an unknown location, has won his first imaginary battles against the GALACTIC EMPIRE.  During this time, gift-purchasing for Stryker was easy; his father found many snap-together models, including the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.  Holding his X-Wing in one hand, and a Star Destroyer in the other, Stryker raced about his bedroom, pretending to be custodian of the stolen plans that would save his people and restore freedom to the galaxy...

A picture of my favorite movie.

If John Williams isn't playing in your head right now, be warned: you are not going to relate to this post.

After graduating sixth grade, I took a few summer school courses at my soon-to-be middle school.  The idea, I suppose, was to acclimate me to a new campus, smooth the transition.  And, likely, to get me out of the folks' hair - I was such a wreck of nerves that summer, I must have driven the whole block insane.  I met a handful of new and interesting people, but my favorites were these three guys - I don't even remember all of their names - who constructed makeshift lightsabers from broom handles and masking tape, quoted from the Trilogy verbatim, and discussed Timothy Zahn's then-groundbreaking novel exploring the lives of our favorite characters eight years after the credits rolled on Jedi.  It was like coming home - I didn't know anyone else had obsessed over those movies like I had.

This is not just 'before the Internet,' remember, this was also before Lucas messed with his own product (so to speak).  The prequel trilogies were less than a myth and more than a dream - a faint whisper, on the edge of hearing. Yes, you're all thinking, and probably should have stayed that way.  I mostly agree.

I learned of the prequel movies a few years later, stomping the streets of Pacific Grove and Monterey with Ian and his crew.  Mallrats had just come out, and all of a sudden, being a geek was slightly more permissible.  I was allowed to know about comic books, and this was the discussion that afternoon.  I don't remember what prompted me to change the subject, but I remember Ian's other Black friend (yeah, I said it, because it's true) looked at me with a sort of crazed joy and said, "Boy, don't you invoke the Holy Trilogy unless you know what you're talking about!"  Ten minutes later, after the geek bona fides were established - I mean, plenty of people know the line, but how many people know how to spell "Tosche" Station? - he told me of the Great Plan.  To tell the story of the Clone Wars, of the Emperor's rise and Vader's fall, as Lucas had always intended.  I'd known about the digitally-remastered theatrical re-release, so I assumed that's what he meant.

"No," he told me, that crazed look returning.  "I know this."  I never learned how - probably some fanzine I'd never heard of.  Nevertheless, the prophecy (and don't get me started on that meshugas) was fulfilled, at once realizing and sundering the hopes of every fanboy who knew how many y's were in Kashyyyk.

From 1983 to 1993, there was nothing new in the Star Wars Universe.  From 1993 to 1997, all we had were novels of a slightly less long time ago - then the Lucas returned and defecated in his own spiritual wellspring (dammit, I liked the Ewok celebration the way it was).  The reason no true SW fanboy will desert the field, in spite of the ever-declining quality of new Star Wars product, is not because Star Wars = crack.  It's because Star Wars withdrawal = crack withdrawal.

In 2000, at the end of my freshman year, I realized just how far my obsession with the Original Trilogy had gone - nobody could watch the damn thing with me.  I didn't even realize I was reciting the lines; Matt had to point it out (on his way out of the door).

And now, if a product, joke, news story, YouTube video, or porno (yeah, that happened) somehow involves Star Wars, I get the forward, as though my geekhood has created a Pavlovian response in my friends.  Star Wars --> send to Dash.

Not exactly a bonus picture.