Day Fifteen

A picture of something I want to do before I die:

A good friend asks me often, how I can stay single - and celibate - for so long.  How can I resist the temptation to settle for that girl who's interested in me, but maybe isn't the most attractive to me, or lacks some quality I require in a lover?

The question has several answers.  One, I can't always tell when women are interested in me, so often what looks like resisting temptation is total ignorance.  Two, I've been down the road of settling, and it only ever caused pain and frustration.  Three, I'm thirty, and time's wearing short.  I almost feel like I can't waste time on someone who doesn't have serious potential.

But those all miss the real point: I'm a dreamer.  I think I'll find it all, someday, the whole shot.  My parents have; most people in my family marry for life.  Not because we don't believe in divorce, but because we find the Right One.  And this is the thing I want most before I die.  I want to stand up in front of everyone I love and make promises to the Right Woman; I want to spend the rest of my life keeping them.

I'm not really built for singlehood.  When I was a kid, I had two imaginary friends.  They were a couple - and just like my teddy bear was named T-Bear, they were named Boyfriend and Girlfriend.  I enjoyed their coupleness and helped them be a better couple.  Am I destined to be an MFT? Maybe.  But I know I belong in a loving relationship with someone special, and until I find her I want to be ready for her.